One night stands have a bad rep. Despite the sexual evolution that is happening in this generation there still appears to be a degree of contempt for the one night hook up. Even the language is judging you as you do the “walk of shame” home in last night’s clothes. What an utter crock. Without one night stands how are single people supposed to have sex? I’ve had loads of one night encounters in my sexual “career” and some of them have been mind-blowing. Ok, some not so much, but you take that chance with any sexual encounter.
A lot of the negatives surrounding one night stands are about the risk. There is obviously an increased risk of disease if you are indulging in many unprotected partners however this is a personal risk and if you choose to take it you need to be honest with the people you’re sleeping with. However sexual safety is a personal responsibility and we all know how to insist someone wears a condom. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have many sexual partners it just means you should play safe if you intend to.
Aside from the risk of catching something nasty there is also an increased physical risk to your personal safety. One night stands usually involve spending the night in someone else’s home or having them in yours. You often know very little about this person and can be putting yourself in a dangerous position. It’s always wise to try to let a friend know where you will be spending the night and if someone isn’t happy to let you give this information out avoid them like the plague. Apart from the risks you know nothing of this persons sexual preferences you could be in for a very unsatisfactory experience if say for example your partner has fetishes you’re uncomfortable with or maybe only wants anal sex and you don’t play that way. There are all kinds of potential for disaster.
Reading the above you couldn’t be blamed for thinking “Hang on I thought you were defending the one night stand here” you’d be right I am. However I’m experienced enough to know they aren’t always brilliant. The cons I’ve listed above are things I’ve actually gone through. One night stand regret is waking up in a friends bed and knowing you don’t feel that way about him sober and sneaking out at 4am to minimise the awkwardness. Real smooth Candy. Or even worse at least once waking up in your boyfriend’s friends bed. A real defining moment for what a douche the younger me was. I have definitely made my fair share of drunken one night stand clangers.
However I’ve also had some earth-shaking life changing ones. These are what keeps me championing the cause. The first time I had a threesome it was a one night thing. In a tent actually, camping with some friends. What started out as accidental touching quickly turned into one of the hottest nights of my life. I thoroughly enjoyed having two cocks at my disposal especially as finding one to sate my need was hard, two did a much better job. The 17-year-old me was hooked. Group sex remained a theme throughout my younger days and it was always a one night occurence. Usually preferred with strangers to avoid any awkwardness the next day. It’s so easy to walk away and not give a damn if you don’t know that person. Left with a delicious ache between your legs and a head filled with wank bank memories.
My first bisexual experience was a one night stand too. Starting with a drunken kiss with a friend I’d been flirting with in our local club all night I quickly found myself at her parents house. We had often shared a bed in the past just not exchanged bodily fluids. Even as I knotted my fingers in her hair while she made me cum I knew I would probably never sleep with her again. Just at that moment in time it was what was right for both of us. And again it left me laid there at 5am knowing for certain that I wasn’t straight as I cuddled up to her and stroked my fingers over her soft skin. Did I regret it? Not at all. The next day things were absolutely normal between us. I actually did sleep with her again a few times but no relationship ever occurred. Just some seriously hot one nighters.
Similarly the first real D/s experience I had was during a one night stand. And this was when I first became alarmingly aware of the personal risks I was taking. Tied to the bed of someone I didn’t know at all. Some point during the haze of sexual sensation I remember thinking I hope he doesn’t murder me. Again walking home the next day I knew my sexual life would never be the same. I knew I wanted more of that. And knowing myself better now than I did then, that risk probably only heightened the experience for me.
Even just a straightforward, no bells and whistles, quick fuck can be hotter if it’s a one night stand. One of my favourite memories is leaving a club in Majorca with a man I’d been exchanging eye contact with all night. We had danced together and within minutes we were touching and kissing. We never even made it back to either hotel, instead settling for the beach and as I came I realised I didn’t even know his name. Here I was wrapped naked around this man and I had no idea even how to address him. Somehow that made it even hotter still.
Just a few examples of how when a one night stand goes well it can introduce you to things you didn’t know you liked. There’s something about the freedom of not knowing someone that allows you to fuck with wild abandon. So what if you mess it up? You won’t see them again so why should you care? In my youth I didn’t want relationships. There was too much to experiment with and I didn’t want an emotional tie. I did want sex and I loved the freedom I felt to enjoy sex with multiple partners. I’ve never understood why people in relationships tut and roll their eyes in judgement at single friends who hook up with a different person every weekend. That wouldn’t be a touch of jealousy would it?
There have been occasions when looking back over my various one night stands (particularly writing this post) that I think what was I doing? Then I remember how good it felt at the time and how each individual encounter played a part in shaping who I am sexually today and I realise that they are all as important in that as my long-term relationships.