There seems to be a feeling in the media that bisexuality and the growth of the bisexual population is down to some kind of trend. Like a fashion in sexuality, particularly amongst young women.
“Girls experimenting when young doesn’t really count as bisexuality does it?”
“Anyone who has sex with both genders is surely bisexual?”
I hate this kind of labelling. Does it need a label anyway? Why do we have to all fit in neat little boxes? Sexuality is primal, basic and wild its not meant to slot into well organised categories.
I knew at a young age I was attracted to both genders. I have memories of watching programmes as a child and not knowing whether I fancied Luke or Daisy Duke more. My very first serious girl crush would be the seriously stunning Linda Carter as Wonder Woman. I was constantly torn between wanting to be her and thinking she was the most attractive woman on earth. I was literally a child so I’m insulted at the insinuation that my sexuality is a fad.
The first time I kissed a girl I was 15, at a party and admittedly very drunk. Although this was a couple of years later than my first kiss with a boy this didn’t mean the experience meant less to me and in the following years I went on to regularly have sexual partners of both genders. By the time I settled down with the man I went on to marry I had been in a serious relationship with a woman and had established that I didn’t really see a difference if I had feelings for someone. If I was attracted to someone it was them as a person that I found hot, irrespective of whether they had great tits or a hot cock.
As I’ve matured I’ve come to realise that whilst I prefer men for emotional attachment I actually find women more physically attractive. I often choose porn involving only women and take great enjoyment out of perusing the portfolios of my favourite Alt Models such as Radeo, Kelly Eden, Nina Kate and Starfucked. Very few men are this visually exciting to me (the exception of course being my gorgeous other half… and David Beckham)
Sex with another woman is a totally different experience to with a man. The girls I’ve slept with have been gentler and when I was younger I definitely noticed that women got me off better than the men I slept with. Of course we have an unfair advantage over our male counterparts. We know exactly how to touch each other for optimum results, it’s instinctive. Obviously all women are different but we have a general idea of the best pressure to use and the kinds of stimulation which usually leads to orgasm. Most women have had an experience where a man has mistaken her clit for the backspace key on his keyboard and furiously hammered it as she scooches up the bed away from his touch.
This isn’t an attempt at man bashing I assure you I’m very fond of men, some of my favourite people are men. It’s simply that skill comes with experience and we’ve had a lifetime of touching ourselves. I’ve heard similar anecdotes from younger men about hand jobs from women not coming close to a good old-fashioned self-abuse session. As young women we lack the skills because often we lack experience of manual handling your equipment.
It was abundantly clear to me from the moment I had my own sexual awakening that I wouldn’t ever choose to indulge in play with one gender over the other permanently, and while I have definitely had more sexual experience with men the ones I’ve had with women are often the ones which reside high in my wank bank of memories. Another quirk of my own desires is despite my nature of being a switch with men I seem to only want to top when with women. I naturally fall into the more aggressive role though maybe this is because I’ve chosen more submissive female partners over the years. This is something I’d be interested to test at some point.
I find it irritating when it’s suggested women feign bisexuality to make themselves more attractive to men. I can assure you when I’m in bed with a beautiful girl men are the very last thing on my mind. As I’ve already mentioned I don’t really like sexual labels anyway. I hate rigidity in something which I find so fluid. I firmly believe (much to my male friends horror) that very few people are totally straight and they just haven’t met anyone of the opposite gender that brings out that curiosity in them. I think our own sexuality constantly changes and grows anyway so how can you brand it one thing or another for life?
I remember being in a club in Majorca when I was 19 getting flirty and dirty with a stunning brunette who I ended up spending two days and nights with. Male friends that were with me were shocked that we made no effort to involve any men during our 48 hours together. The general consensus was that it was a gimmick to hook a bloke. By anyone’s standards 48 hours of hot sex is a pretty extreme gimmick.
I think that with each generation sexuality becomes less rigid and tolerance towards sexual experimentation grows. I firmly hope that this notion that bisexuality is some kind of trend or fashion dies a final death because it’s an insult to the many men and women that find gender irrelevant to attraction.