Slut and Proud

My name is Candy… I’m a slut and proud! Slut shaming is one of my ultimate pet gripes. It tends to be based in jealousy and pecks at the heart of something about ourselves we struggle to change.

Who decides what is acceptable within the boundaries of sex? Who decides what is an acceptable amount of partners? Most of us start our sexual journeys in a haze of hormones as teenagers. Sex is exciting and often once you get a taste you find you want more. Nobody judges someone for only having one sexual partner, nobody mocks their lack of a yard stick by which to measure.

Why should anyone be ashamed of a love of sex? Absolutely nothing on earth comes close to the amazing feeling of an orgasm. As long as both parties are consensual where is the harm in this? Sex and love are not one and the same although I admit with age I’ve accepted they make amazing bed fellows.

In my youth I would think nothing of having sex with a few people a night, sometimes all at once, sometimes one after the other. I find sating my desire difficult and if there are willing partners happy to join me in reaching that high again why would I refuse? Does it matter that I didn’t love them? No of course it doesn’t. I wasn’t planning a life with them, I was simply having fun.

As I’ve matured both in wisdom and sexuality I’ve come to appreciate that sharing sex with someone you love brings a different side to it. A new level of intimacy and trust allows you to experiment with things you might not with a partner you’ve just met. However I feel no shame at all for my past encounters. Many of them I think of fondly and they’ve shaped the complex layers of sexuality I wear today.

Shaming someone for a love of sex harks back to Victorian values and this is archaic and ridiculous in my opinion. You have no idea of your tastes until you try something and not everyone wants or is lucky enough to be in a serious relationship.

Modern values are changing and Polyamory and group sex are viewed nowhere near as strangely as they used to be and I embrace this change. Sex is fun! Why demonize it? Why is it “dirty” to want to do the thing that comes most naturally to us. Lust is an exceptionally powerful drug and I know from my own personal experience when I’m sexually fulfilled I’m at my most happy.

Your sexuality is as personal to you as your genetic make up. You can’t alter it. It will always be there just under the skin. If you’re particularly 3a360fe7-286d-4d64-a89b-58aff6f88998libidinous then trying to live without this, or repressing it, will only lead to unhappiness and resentment. Particularly if this is done to bow to society’s pressure.

I wear my sexuality on the outside. I love sex and I’m totally unapologetic about this. I love the whole act, raw and hard and messy. It strips us down to our barest instincts and shows us at our most vulnerable. It’s never far from my thoughts and I find myself daydreaming about flashes of memories with my man, my insides tightening at the delicious memories or plans I may have for him the next time we play. I’ve been told in the past I’m insatiable, I have a “problem”, an addiction. But my addiction isn’t killing me, it’s making me feel alive.

Judging someone based on their sexual history is as pointless as judging someone on their education. We are all individuals and all have different wants and needs. As long as someone is safe and consensual within the parameters of their play then quite honestly it’s nobody else’s damn business.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s